Hello, this is Gritti Chompers, your representative from the National False Teeth Recycling Foundation Consortium, asking you to consider making a small donation of any amount you deem comfortable towards the continuation of our charitable work. Our short-term objective is, by reducing the downtime of false teeth in the mouths of those fortunate enough to possess this valuable commodity, to provide a courier service that can rush these to other people needing them, on a round-robin basis, according to when they have just eaten or are just about to eat—which of course differs from person to person, as we have found in our field surveys. This reduces the need to import false teeth from foreign countries, and puts our local people to work driving the vehicles that deliver the teeth from person to person. In the long run we can create nationwide false teeth banks that can accumulate the teeth for future use as needed, most especially as people die and bequeath their false teeth to these banks. Won’t you consider making your donation to this worthy cause? We will surely win this battle of driving down health care costs, while creating employment, one bite at a time.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hidden Assumption Revealed
Clearly it is time for Kashaknishra to declare the inauguration of the Church of the Hidden Assumption, whose principles may now be brought to light:
I. Evolution is a misnomer for the process that brought us humans to the present point. For we are truly in thrall of a technology of human design, while most of humankind fervently continues its beliefs frozen in time in the Middle Ages and earlier, times whose goals appear immutable today.
II. This fervor, oft expressed as febrile anticipation of the End Times, has two facets: 1) instigation of conflict in every sphere, in order to hasten that End; but also 2) the ingathering of Jews, whose conversion remains necessary to bring about that selfsame End.
III. Our new Church of the Hidden Assumption is, instead, to become the focal point for that ingathering, which will declare unto all Christendom: “Make us Jews, and friends thereof, an offer sufficient to hasten the transformation of our beliefs, so that your End may be brought closer to fruition. A generous monetary sum may well help us as we strive towards the continued payment for the advanced education we hold so dear in the interim.”
IV. And in the interim, we shall make our own way for Evolution to begin.
I. Evolution is a misnomer for the process that brought us humans to the present point. For we are truly in thrall of a technology of human design, while most of humankind fervently continues its beliefs frozen in time in the Middle Ages and earlier, times whose goals appear immutable today.
II. This fervor, oft expressed as febrile anticipation of the End Times, has two facets: 1) instigation of conflict in every sphere, in order to hasten that End; but also 2) the ingathering of Jews, whose conversion remains necessary to bring about that selfsame End.
III. Our new Church of the Hidden Assumption is, instead, to become the focal point for that ingathering, which will declare unto all Christendom: “Make us Jews, and friends thereof, an offer sufficient to hasten the transformation of our beliefs, so that your End may be brought closer to fruition. A generous monetary sum may well help us as we strive towards the continued payment for the advanced education we hold so dear in the interim.”
IV. And in the interim, we shall make our own way for Evolution to begin.
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